Not the fruity kind, although they can be. The ones that you go on, to try out new people. In the world of online dating, it’s almost a blind date situation or like dipping your hand blindly into the celebrations tin at Christmas. The trouble is you don’t know how long they’ve been in there, where they’ve been licked and if they’re half eaten. There they are with their shiny wrappers, showing you the parts of them they want you to see.
The emotional ride of dating is not for the insecure. It’s brutal out there, and one thing I’m absolutely sure of; unless you have a clairvoyant skill set you don’t know with just one date. What happened to ‘getting to know someone’? I have been single now for 4 years, and I’ve had so many dates I can’t count on my hands. You’re thinking now one of two things; 1- is she just too fussy? Or 2- she must have a face for radio, or there’s something wrong with her. The thing is I don’t know what it is that I keep getting so wrong, and it’s just occurred to me that my judgment is off. I’m a well adjusted, open minded, chilled out human being, with terrible judgment in men!
One of my closest friends said, I quote ‘ perhaps your radar is a little bent’. She’s being nice... my radar is screwed. This is one area of my life that I can’t seem to make work. So I’ve resigned from all dating sites, resigned from the judgement and tales. I’ve resigned from the pre date excitement and the post date disappointment.
The fact is you can’t possibly know in an hour or two, you need a lifetime to know someone. Women I believe have a different view of dating. There must be an attraction, but we are far more likely to give someone a chance. I think all us singletons are well aware that In this throw away culture there is always another someone.
When did we all get so shallow? When did we abandon our sense of morality for throw away fun and short lived gratification? It costs us less to buy new, than repair old... How about the stuff that’s invaluable and worth repairing? Is a person really replaceable? No, they aren’t.
Now, happier than I’ve ever been before... yes I love lockdown, I’m going to enjoy being me. Online dating although gave me a channel to new meet people, and in fact I’ve made some pretty awesome friends, doesn’t work for me. Stop looking and you’ll find them! Ermmmmm yeh right. I am going to embrace my new loves, and just perhaps someone out there will love me for not trying so hard.
I hope to grow more silly and attract even more silliness into my life.
41 and happy on Monday.
Ps- can I wear pink tights whilst canoeing?
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